June 9, 2014 - Uncle Bobby

Uncle Bobby

 

 “I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou





This is probably one of my favorite quotes.  At times it seems so true, life does go on, good or bad.  Now I don't agree that it will be better, but eventually it will start easing.   Within the last 14 months, I have lost my older brother Timmy, my AMAZING Aunt Betty and my favorite 'Asshole' my Uncle Bobby.  All of these deaths have been hard for me.  However, I think Uncle Bob's is the worst.........
I feel bad not only because we lost Uncle Bob, but I took the phone call from Uncle Johnny, telling us that Uncle Bobby was gone.  Now just the thought of seeing my Uncle John or talking to him on the phone makes me upset.  My mom wants to go see my Uncle John and my Aunt Butch, but even going out to the trailer park right now would be hard also. 
We've had deaths like this before in the family, 3 at a time,  between November 1992 and July of 1993 we lost my Grandpa Charlie, my Uncle Wayne and my Grandpa Joe.  I was 11 and really close to both grandpa's, but when you are that young you seem to bounce back to life fairly easy.  4 years pass and at the age of 15 I lost my Grandma Williams, my first devastating loss, the first one that truly changed the meaning of losing a loved one.
Getting older those losses seem to get harder and harder.  My dad has 4 sisters, my Aunt Pearl was killed by a drunk driver along with her oldest daughter before I was born, my Aunt Jewel passed 3 or 4 short years after I was born. I am lucky I picked up my chewing gum habit from her and telling the kids 'Bull Honkey'! That left me 2 Aunts on dad's side of the family.   I was very emotional when my Aunt Opie passed in 2001.  I didn't feel as close to my Aunt Ruby at the time, so it was hard.  After that, in 2003, at the age of 21 I lost the last 2 of my grandparents,  my Grandpa Jess in May and my Grandma Bowlin in July.  A year and a half later, my Uncle Charles.......  his passing was the worst.  On my mom's side of the family, he was the glue that held us all together.  Sure, mom is the boss and EVERYONE knows that, but Uncle Charles was our 'ROCK'!    After the loss of Uncle Charles, came the loss of his son, my 2nd oldest cousin, Steven.
Now I am a firm believer that when you lose someone you love, you never fully recover or return to the person you were before you lost them. You just learn to adapt to the new you.    So, technically according to my calculations that means that I have adapted to a new me at least 11 times in the past 22 yrs.     When's the breaking point?  How much grief can one person tolerate?

 I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. I find comfort in knowing that my life has been blessed by having shared and known their love.